For the past week or so, I’ve been floating in a surreal sort of déjà vu state, not all of it happy and upbeat. This time of year (late February/early March) has been structured almost the same for almost 20 years, so it has a bit of a Groundhog Day feel to it (including some of the Bill Murray hijinks).

However, one year ago, on March 10^th, 2020, my life took a dramatic turn. Unlike other major events and changes in my life, like when I embarked on my two-year missionary service, got married, added each of my four kids, got a couple of degrees, and got various jobs, this change was different, as I hadn’t chosen it. The change was forced upon me, suddenly and without any real warning (other than anxious foreshadowing). I lost my job of many years. My career (as I saw it at the time) was overturned and derailed. My future was uncertain. That single event has shaped and influenced and flavoured my thoughts and mental state all year. It has lurked in the background of every single day since then. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get out from under it. To add to the anxiety and uncertainty (with flavourful irony), the world descended into the grips of global pandemic. It has thrown everyone and everything into a constantly changing and shifting condition.

I know that I am not alone in having experienced change and upheaval, now or over the past year. I also know that MY change was relatively minor compared to some peoples’ changes. In fact, most of the time, I consider myself fortunate for the year that I had, along with all that it contained. At a bare minimum, it was a full year of active experience, which is better than nothing. It was a season of growth (several seasons, actually).

You are the navigator

While we sometimes don’t choose the branch of the path of our lifelong journey that we are placed upon, WE CHOOSE how we will navigate it. I challenge you to flip your view of the past year on its head. Look at it from the point of view that it was a year of addition and growth, not one filled with want, restrictions, and scarcity.

What did the past 12 months offer to you? What did you experience? What have you accomplished? What have you learned?

For myself, I learned that I can, in fact (contrary to some very deeply ingrained habits and personal biases), exist and function outside of a massive organization. I can (theoretically) run a business on my own. I can do new things. I can adapt. I can do hard things. I can take what I was able to do before and expand and build upon it. I can develop new skills. I can hone old skills. I can embrace creative outlets. I can focus on and embrace things that I am passionate about, without having to worry about the constrictions or restrictions that might have dampened or prevented me from do so before. I can develop new, positive habits. I can cultivate new and old relationships and partnerships. I can try, fail, and try again. I can learn.

You are NOT alone

It is easy to feel alone when we embark in change. Often, we are so focused on the first few steps in front of us that we shuffle forward without realizing that there are others sharing the path with us. We might even feel like we MUST walk alone. But the exact opposite is true.

In looking back on the past year, I can absolutely see that I did not do any of what I did alone or in a vacuum. I can clearly see that at all times I was surrounded by a veritable crowd of people. They jostled and jockeyed and stepped up to push, pull, or drag me forward, whether I asked for it or not, or whether they realized that that was what they were doing. They reached out with support, often before I even knew that I needed it, or that it was what I needed. Sometimes they were just THERE, as a reminder to me that I wasn’t alone or that help was within reach, if I felt that I was faltering. They were the lights on the path, offering comforting light on the next turn. Or they were those supportive people along the raceway, urging and encouraging you onward and upward, telling you that you could make it up that next hill, or around the next bend.

You are someone else’s support

I grew up being taught that one way to lift your spirits and grow as a person was to “lose yourself in the service of others.” That principle has stuck with me.

I like how Audrey Hepburn put it when she said, “As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.”

This past year, while I struggled through my change, I often found that there were plenty of opportunities for me to put aside my own needs and contribute to the support of others. Look at your year. If I were a betting man (which I am not – you don’t have to be when it is a sure thing), I would wager that you had an impact in someone else’s life. You contributed to the wellbeing and success of someone else. You might not know how or when, but I am confident that you did.

You are an off-road machine

When you look back over the year, what do you see? Can you see where you started from? If you so chose, you could look back and only see where you were and where you are now, which are only two points in the entire journey. You might look straight between the two points, missing a lot of the details. But the past year was not a flat, straight, unwavering road. Absolutely not. It was filled with twists, turns, and cutbacks. There were bumps, potholes, hills, and valleys. And you (and I) got through that. You passed over, around, and in some cases, through a whole host of obstacles, barriers, and challenges. That is not nothing. That’s huge.

Long is long and short is short

Keep in mind that we don’t have to measure change or challenges in years. Sometimes, this whole process is compressed into days, weeks, or months. The same principles apply, regardless of the duration of the journey. Longer or shorter doesn’t mean it was harder or easier, just longer, or shorter. Don’t weigh the impact of the duration against anyone or anything else. Your journey is your journey. Just because someone is struggling in the short-term doesn’t mean that it isn’t just as difficult.

Celebrate survival

I absolutely DID NOT choose the events that occurred on the morning of March 10^th, 2020, and the entrance to the pathway that the change represented. You did not choose some of the events and challenges that have cropped up in your life. However, for all of that, how you and I choose to react and move forward was entirely in each of our hands. As I look back on this year, I do so with a certain amount of appreciation and a fair bit of awe. Did I really survive that? Did I really do all those things? Am I better for it?

Live here and now – face forward

While looking back can be interesting and illuminating, what is most important is to live here and now, and face forward. With the cumulative progress and experience of this past year, what lies ahead for you? What are you poised and prepared to do now? What is different about you that will colour and shade (brighten and highlight) each of your next steps?

Draw strength from what you have done and what you have become. Use it to fuel your drive to continue to improve and chose your path. Sometimes the path is changed for you, but you can’t just sit around waiting for that. You must take control of your progress. Forward is forward. You might control some of the direction, but you absolutely control momentum.

“Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.” – Victor Kiam – American Entrepreneur

“A lot of things are going to happen that you can’t necessarily control all the time, but you can control what you do after it happens. So that’s what I try to do, keep my head up, keep moving forward, stay positive and just work hard.” – Lonzo Ball – NBA player

“The only person that ever stumbles is a guy moving forward. You don’t stumble backwards; you stumble forward, and you never stumble when you’re stationary. So don’t worry about stumbling. Keep pushing it forward.” – James Carville – American political consultant